Are Chinese girls ‘easy’? And other thoughts on cross-cultural dating - SupChina
Free

We're a new type of news publication

China news you won't read elsewhere.

Weekly Newsletter

Get a roundup of the most important and interesting stories coming out of China.

Podcasts

Sinica, TechBuzz China, and our 6 other shows are the undisputed champs of China podcasts. Listen now.

Feature Articles

Interactive, web-based deep dives into the real China.

Premium

Join the thousands of executives, diplomats, and journalists that rely on SupChina for daily analysis of the full China story.

Daily Newsletter

All the news, every day. Premium analysis directly from our Editor-in-Chief Jeremy Goldkorn.

24/7 Slack Community

Have China-related questions and want answers? Our Slack community is a place to learn, network, and opine.

Free Live Events & More

Monthly live conference calls with leading experts, free entry to SupChina live events in cities around the world, and more.

"A jewel in the crown of China reporting. I go to it, look for it daily. Why? It adds so much insight into the real China. Essential news, culture, color. I find SupChina superior."
— Max Baucus, former U.S. Ambassador to China

Free

We're a new type of news publication

China news you won't read elsewhere.

Weekly Newsletter

Get a roundup of the most important and interesting stories coming out of China.

Podcasts

Sinica, TechBuzz China, and our 6 other shows are the undisputed champs of China podcasts. Listen now.

Feature Articles

Interactive, web-based deep dives into the real China.

OR… for more in-depth analysis and an online community of China-focused professionals:

Learn About Premium Access Now!
Learn More
Minimize
Learn More
Minimize

Are Chinese girls ‘easy’? And other thoughts on cross-cultural dating

A look at how Chinese culture has responded to an ugly stereotype.

Victor Zheng is a Chinese “self-media” (自媒体 zì méitǐ) personality, now living in the U.S., who has published in both Chinese and English on various topics touching on cross-cultural dynamics.


Dating dynamics are always interesting to observe, especially the variances in how different cultures or people in different locations perceive certain behaviors or unwritten rules. In China, a currently trending topic is that of the “easy girl,” referring to a certain perception that local girls (commonly those in East and Southeast Asian countries) favor foreign men.

This was a subject that interested me because it has come up in many personal discussions with friends both in and out of China and of varying cultural backgrounds. I had a lunchtime discussion with another self-media personality — someone intimately engaged in the world of Chinese social media — on the cultural weight and importance of this topic. He described the subject as a 痛点 (tòngdiǎn, painful spot or sensitive area), one that touches on a country’s cultural pride, making it particularly fascinating in the Chinese context.

The term “easy girl” is pervasive on the Chinese internet, and can often be found in the comments section of stories or videos involving interracial relationships. For example, in the summer of 2017, one story that ignited heated debate was when a Spanish man was filmed having sex with a Chinese woman in Chengdu. The responses varied from inappropriate taunting to anger at the perception that foreign men just see Chinese girls as “cheap” and as “toys.” Incidentally, state media also enjoys harnessing this subject (for aims I’ll not speculate). “Do China’s women obsess over foreign men?” asked the Global Times. Not to be outdone, “Do Chinese women obsess over foreign men?” asked the China Daily. Google “Chinese girls are easy” and you’ll find much more.

“Do a lot of white people think Chinese girls are ‘easy girls’”? asks a poster on Zhihu, a Quora-like Q&A platform. The page has been visited more than 7 million times.

It sometimes feels like the fact that an interracial relationship can exist at all is a reason for anger. “BBC actually made a video on how to date Chinese girls, netizens outraged,” reads a headline on a piece in Sina. Never mind that the BBC video in question is actually titled “How Not To Date A Chinese Girl,” and is a satirical take on, well, what white men should not do if they want to date a Chinese girl.

Most people are at least superficially aware of the stereotypes associated with Chinese men and women. I suppose, as a Chinese American, I’ve always been aware of the stereotype of the appeal (or lack thereof) of Chinese men; the idea that Chinese girls are “easy” is the flip side of this coin — it’s a misogynistic and dangerous idea, yes, but we can’t ignore that it exists. It’s why it made me want to make the following video (I have another one discussing the perception of Chinese and Asian guys worldwide).

The reactions on my Weibo and Bilibili accounts, while not reflective of “China” (nothing can be, really), at least represent a certain part of China’s hundreds of millions of online citizens. Some say the easy girl stereotype exists because “easy girl” is shorthand for the objective reality that Chinese girls do prefer foreign men: Hollywood and other Western standards of beauty have seeped into the Chinese subconscious, thereby making foreigners seem attractive by comparison. Others are nationalistic: vehement in their stance that Chinese girls are not easy compared with girls in Southeast Asia or other parts of East Asia, since being “easy” implies these girls are “gold diggers” who live in an economically disadvantaged country. Some comments are nakedly sexist and xenophobic, blaming women for making themselves too available for “foreign trash” who have money and prestige, while blaming foreigners for being overly promiscuous.

It goes without saying, but these are not what we’d call good opinions, and they’re a far cry from the thoughtful and nuanced answers my participants gave: They spoke about the influence of Hollywood (34-second mark), the fact that many single young foreigners tend to come to China (4:15), and even the cultural impact of Japanese media (6:42). At the same time, many participants also emphasized that there are many ways to view the stereotype’s existence, and that there are plenty of Chinese who are not conditioned to put foreignness on a pedestal. Perhaps the most crucial viewpoint is articulated by one of my participants at the end: No matter what a relationship looks like on the surface, only the people in that relationship understand why they are together, and ultimately, it’s not up to others to speculate.

Alas, in a country where issues of race are openly and shamelessly discussed, this was the most liked comment on my video on Bilibili: “Chinese people like white skin, it’s not because of foreign influence, it’s been like this since ancient times.”

 

Some other comments:

“I am sorry, to a relative extent, this is true”

“Foreign slaves and foreign trash are a match made in heaven — why separate them?”

“Whether or not girls are easy, I don’t know, but Chinese guys are definitely ‘easy boy’ when it comes to foreign women”

“Actually, Japanese girls are ‘easy’”

“That over-idolization of foreign things has never changed for thousands of years”

“Philippines, Thailand > Vietnam > Japan > Southern China > Northern China” (in terms of how easy girls are to pick up, with northern Chinese and Korean girls being equally hard)

“I think China should implement more family planning for girls…”

 

I really didn’t have any expectations for how people would react. My personal conclusion from the feedback I’ve seen is that people have a lot of cultural pride, yet also possess very obvious insecurities. It seems to me that society is still wrangling with stereotypes and perceptions, and figuring out what the proper response should be.

I am not sure how much my content has contributed to a productive discussion, but what is most important is that conversation can continue in an objective, rational, and maybe helpful way.


Republished with edits on 2/12, 9 a.m. EST

UPDATE, 2/23: A response:

Did you REALLY just ask me ‘Are Chinese girls easy?’

Victor Zheng

Victor Zheng is a Chinese-American who grew up Virginia. In China, he has acted in web series, produced videos, and appeared on reality shows. He hopes to use his experiences and media influence to strengthen mutual understanding between China and the rest of the world, whether that be through conversations at the gym or by dancing on Chinese television. Victor currently resides in Beijing.

22 Comments

  1. eddie123 Reply

    Chinese girls in China, Taiwan and Hong Kong are definitely easy for white guys. If you are white and you cannot get hundreds of dates in these countries, you may as well turn gay since you are pretty much hopeless elsewhere. On the other hand, Chinese women in these countries will vigorously defend that they are easy for white guys because of pride.

    Almost any white guy can have easy sex, then the Chinese woman will spend the next day justifying to him that she is normally a very conservative girl. Perhaps only this time :) It always happens in this order but sex is always easy – that is the bottom line.

    1. DingDongDoorknobs Reply

      You’re quite probably a shitposter with that smiley but I’d still request a source from you. Or maybe the evidence is just simply too damning? Let’s ignore the cultural stigma (https://www.scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/article/1495043/good-man-hard-find-chinas-leftover-women-look-love-abroad), & stick to the data overseas: https://www.reddit.com/r/CIWO/comments/3vg3rm/chinese_interracial_overseas/ https://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160107132103/http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/dcp171776_369571.pdf
      Heck, not even David Bond agrees with you: http://i.imgur.com/MEonOmp.jpg

  2. Steven Monroe Reply

    Hi Victor,
    I have found the lecture of your article very productive and couldn’t agree more with everything you wrote.
    I have myself tried to explain all the tricks I’ve learnt about getting girls in China in this book https://www.amazon.com/Modern-guide-get-girls-China-ebook/dp/B07D1RQGZX/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1526396041&sr=1-1&keywords=Modern+guide+to+get+girls+in+China+(English+Edition
    Hit me to get a free copy and let me know what you think, this book also talk about “how to get Western girls in China”, and I am curious about what you’d have to say about it :)
    Thanks for your insights, let’s speak soon~

  3. Meme Reply

    Sorry to say that it’s TRUE foreign woman are all easy when it comes to money & to get away from the poverty they lived… as my point of view cause I have seen & talk to many young girl who married for that reasons only sad to say & the men that go to those countries or the Male bride the go for tells all, if you cant get a woman from your country something is wrong with you that they see so u go the EASY way and not care as long as they depend on you & act that they love you.. when in reality they dont especially when there is a age gap.. I have seen Asian women here in the USA who are the easiest I do believe it when I caught my bf with one see the messages between them & how they met basically she went up to him while he was having lunch she sat next to him next day & ever other day she was in his bed with out knowing anything ant him, he did everything he satisfied abt… which disgust me when I confronted him & her she said they are friends & nothing happened.. plus she is a mother I noticed she only cared abt herself that’s why the husband has full custody of the boy… cant say more then yes Asian today & 50 yr ago are easy in every way.

  4. mike Reply

    If a Chinese male is with a foreign girl he’s congratulated by everyone. If a Chinese guy plays around and cheats on his Chinese girlfriend, no real special negative attention aside from the usual would be paid to him. However, if a foreign man is with a Chinese girl, the couple is looked down upon and these stereotypes come into play “easy girl” “yellow fever”…etc. If a foreign man plays around with Chinese girls it becomes a big deal and all over the internet. It’s racism and discrimination against non Chinese men in Asia. Nothing more. Some people just can’t seem to comprehend a couple being together because they want to be regardless of race and some men play around because they are men not because of their race

  5. Patrice Reply

    Asians are so easy, and cool, and beautiful, and with good manners and value…I hate white arrogant westerners (especially the anglo-saxons) they’re totally hopeless for decent men, don’t waste your time, yellow fever is the real deal….most of my friends who have Asian girl friends will never go back to white girls ever…

  6. Jerry Luke Reply

    I’m considering going to Shenyang China to meet a beautiful Chinese girl I’ve been talking to you for weeks now. I was married twice in this country to Western girls and they are not faithful. I’m a one woman man never been drunk never held a cigarette and I’m 65 years old and I have been abused. This Chinese girl speaks words that I never heard in this country. The nicest words I’ve ever experience.. I’m going to fly to China in the next 30 days to meet her. Is anyone out there married tuoi Chinese lady that they have a dork for many years. Meet comments before I make this life long decision. If there any secrets that Chinese keep that I need to know about please let me know. Thanks

  7. Dating a Chinese girl Reply

    I met this Chinese girl today. I think Chinese girls are really cute. I like her. I don’t know if she is “easy” or not, but I’ve had a lot of difficulty dating American women. I am an American white male, and she did tell me that Chinese girls tend to prefer them. I think the reason is that there is not as much diversity in China. Anyway, I hope she can be my girlfriend after a few dates.

  8. race Reply

    yes its true i have seen it from my own eyes i have studied in chinese university for more than 2 years its sadly true chinese girls are very cheap and easy target for white guys . western guys in my dorm have three to four girlfriend and chinese always run after western guys for them its heaven chinese girls behave like a prostitue when chase white guys and biggest thing is they dont care.

  9. Peter Reply

    Patrice
    You hate Western white men, because they did not take you into account, you are a bitter person and you vomit poison. I would not be surprised if you were an ugly and greedy Chinese who pretends to be a white woman.
    Asians can be very misogénicos, cruel and treat women as second or third class people, stay in Asia, which is your place, but when things go wrong, do not come back, those of your kind are not welcome and your whining neither.

  10. Tj Reply

    Not sure what to say about Chinese women being easy all I know is women are women wherever they come from,
    I’ve taken a Chinese girl out on a date two times now and she seems very polite, beautiful . Smart good to talk to is already in my country We go out and enjoy the night and I don’t think about her as a sex toy, I’ve never tried it on with her and treat her exactly as I would any other lady I like.
    Maybe it’s a stereotype of Western men going to Asia as sex tourist’s and cheap bar girls or poor women looking for a visa or money.
    Personally myself I’ve never considered going to Asia .
    The lady I’ve met is a teacher and has been in the UK less than 8 months.
    All I know is she is not easy and if she was I’d not be attracted to her.

  11. Michael McQuay Reply

    If you are a American or European WHITE male…yes very easy to find a Chinese woman willing to date them. I wont say all Chinese women because, actually there is a level of intimidation because of the language and cultural barriers. I would have to say that ultimately a Chinese woman from the mainland is much harder to break the ice unless she grew up around western culture or spent time in HK. But one thing is for certain 100% the likelihood of a Chinese woman dating lets say a black AMERICAN is at around 5% if she is from HK about less than 1% if she is from mainland. When I say 1%I’m talking about a Chinese woman living in Shanghai. Anywhere else the percentages are closer to less than .5%. Bottom line is Chinese culture in general will always accept a white male to enter their world over any other race. The Chinese culture is very unique and complicated intertwined with outside appearance, social classes, and income barriers.

  12. Abc Reply

    Level of intimidation?…. Yeah, that or the cold fact that NOT EVERY ASIAN WOMEN IS INTO WHITE GUYS!!! How about that Einstein?
    White people are egotistical, pompous morons whose explanation aboout others not liking em as “intimidation. Gross. Fat, hairy and early balders are also contributing factors Hun.

    1. Tom Reply

      I’m sorry to say, but not all white people are egotistical, pompous morons, and we aren’t all gross/fat/hairy/whatever. There are white people out there, who are genuinely nice, kind, caring, giving, and even going as far as being a non-smoker, non-drinker, has normal weight, basically when you read one of those dating profiles that reads “looking for my prince” well those white people DO exist.

      The PROBLEM is that too many women have been treated horribly, and so they see every white person as being bad. What they ought to be doing is, taking a break, and when they feel they are ready to date, THEN they should give people who treat them with decency and respect a chance.

  13. BIO KILLER Reply

    It’s not that Chinese women are easy it’s that, if you’re fucking white you’ll have an EASIER time because if an Asian women dates outside her ethnicity, she’ll prefer to date someone who’s white and, in Asian culture (in terms of interracial dating) it’s more acceptable to be with a white male than a black one.

  14. Kenny Reply

    You guys have overlooked. It is not only limited to Chinese but the majority of women of Asian descent have white-fever and not just the other way around. For starters, Koreans, especially Korean/Americans have the highest number of interracial marriages followed by Taiwanese and then Japanese/American. Moving away from east Asia; Filipinos and Filipino/Americans take the cake! Mainlander-Chinese are just old-fashioned ‘Taiwanese’ locked up in cages, and now the Kraken has been released.

  15. Li Ryan Reply

    Probably pointless to post on an article that will garner so much obvious racism, but I will anyway. Getting sex as a man in China is not easy, regardless of your race, unless you are extremely unscrupulous. I tried to explain this to my American friends before they visited here, but several of them, being infamous womanizers, assured me that they would have no trouble. Not a single one of them got laid. Chinese women are almost universally looking for a relationship, those who are open sexually are the exception, not the rule. This may be different if you go to the foreigner districts in really huge cities like Guangzhou, Beijing, Shanghai, Dalian, etc, but there is very little sexuality in Chinese culture, period. That’s a fact. There is a GREAT deal of pressure for marriage, however, so dating someone in China assures that any Chinese participants are highly likely to be considering marriage as the goal right from the start. I HAVE been in several conversations where groups of foreigners here were discussing how to bed Chinese women, which disgusted me and caused me to leave the room… but what I heard before I left was that their tactics were essentially to convince the woman that they were serious so that she would bed them. Do I need to point out how totally fucked up that is?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.